Commitment phobia is rooted in fear – fear of lost options or fear of making bad decisions. More specifically, the commitment phobia is fear and avoidance of having to commit to anything, but especially relationships. And as the saying goes, is a double-edged sword: on one hand, to avoid obligations, ties and commitments but at the same time commitment phobia may crave the secret lives of those who have committed and growth produced roots.

Commitment phobics are the women who say, “All men are idiots”, or men who say, “only women go to get my money” – to avoid rationalizations to justify a committed relationship.

Men are generally considered more commitment-phobic than women, but recent research suggests it may be a case of stereotyping, and that this is not necessarily a gender specific thing.

Intimacy

However, the commitment of most phobic men and women really aspire to a deep and intimate relationship leading toward marriage, but fear leads them to kill every dating opportunity they can get. Sexual relations outside marriage, promiscuity or encourages a false sense of intimacy, which feels really well at the moment but is only an invention based on how we should feel when sex. This is the replacement of the “instant gratification” at the expense of deep soul satisfaction and everlasting love.

Relations

In relationships, the paradox is that the commitment-phobic sucks what he fears most: love and connection. When we speak of individual phobias commitment, we mean people who avoid committing long-term relationships such as marriage. Previous abusive relationships, intimacy issues or traumatic childhood experiences can be the causes of this type of escape commitment. Another possibility is that the child may have been witnesses or victims of models, or even abusive relationships during those formative years. Not surprisingly, this can (consciously or unconsciously) the color of how they feel and take part in relationships as adults, too.

Statistics show that we are happier and well when we are in committed relationships. According to psychologists, phobos commitment to behave well, because they have certain beliefs about relationships. Phobia and not being harmful, commitment, is a healthy fear that will prevent him from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. At this point you can build friendships and romantic relationships temporal order “to win the hand” again.

Rather than being harmful, commitment phobia can be considered a healthy fear that will prevent him from jumping into new relationships before you are ready. Fighting fear of commitment often pays off because being able to share your life with someone you really like to be wonderful.

Meanwhile, consider this: “Commitment phobia is rooted in the belief that when we love someone, you are responsible for their feelings rather than our own.”

While there are many treatments and even medicines out there that may or may not be useful, the answers are in the end, as always, in itself. Knowing what buttons to press is not always obvious, however. To this end, you might like to see my self-help book “How To Love Again When Your Heart’s been broken.”

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